“I must leave now”, I whispered under my breath , not taking my head off his chest. I liked how it fit right there, like a tiny piece in a solved jigsaw puzzle and how his heartbeats echoed in my ears, swam slowly into my head.
“Can’t you stay?” he asked, obliviously playing with the strands of my hair. I buried my face on his chest not willing to answer a question to which we both knew the answer so well. Afterall, shifting to different towns is all we had been doing since our childhoods. So we lay there, staring at the blank walls of the hall we had spent so much of our time in, reminiscing the good old memories and stealing whatever moments we could.
Fascination, is a word I associate deeply with this place. These gates, oh these tall, proud gates that had seen innumerable bright and sad faces pass through them, manage to stand strong even today. The windows all along, deceiving anyone who passes by, luring one to peek inside their enchanting world and to be honest, everything about this place hurts. It hurts because it was too beautiful to be forgotten. And maybe, it’s not always about the people, it’s about the place too.
But for now all that mattered to me was him. We had spent almost our entire childhood together here, walking along the corridors, holding hands and chuckling at silly jokes. And somehow he had become to me that place, the place where I can go anytime, feel and never return from. Solace. Solace is what I found in him. He was my real home. And somewhere I knew, it wasn’t going to be easy for him to come back here without me too.
Clocks kept spinning and before I could even realise, tears raced down my cheeks, devastated at even the thought of losing him. I shut my eyes and let his presence soak in for a while, saving the smell of him in the back of my mind for I knew I was going to crave his presence for a very long time. The hour was near and we had no option but to flow with time and tide, climb down the stairs and bid each other our goodbyes , till we could drift back into each other’s arms again sometime. He untangled the knots between our fingers and cupped my face, wiping my fears away with his palms.
“ You know I’ll be right here, don’t you? ” he asked, lifting my chin up to his glistening eyes.“ I know ” , I said smiling my favourite smile, of knowing things…that day. The smile that saved behind it those thousand happy-sad memories of us. The smile that I might forget to smile, someday soon in his absence . We left the rest unsaid, for that was the only way I knew. I let him entangle himself from my aching soul and kiss my forehead before walking out the door, leaving it and my heart agape.
promise to stay.
( like you, I am caught between the city lights and sea , so love tell me if you’re still here waiting…cause I am and I will wait for you till eternity )
//excerpts from a book I’ll never write//
(Art by Eleni Debo)
[ this writeup was inspired by one of my favourite bloggers here, Blueivypoison]